In the fog

This morning when I got up. I was sitting at my desk in my house and glanced out the window to see it was a beautifully foggy day. The view from my window was of the trees in my backyard and beyond (the tips of trees from several neighboring yards to the east). It was so beautiful the way the deep green trees closest to me seemed to fade the further away they got. And out there somewhere beyond the fog I knew there were more, many more. I love ironic scenes like this. So much so that I wish I could draw or paint worth a damn.

Anyway, I guess it all boils down to perspective. I decided to Google "can't see the trees through the fog". Ok so I got it a little wrong but Mr. Google knew what I meant. I went to a document that had the following Bible passage on it. Now for those of you who don't know my history, I was raised Catholic and when to Catholic school for 6 years. And not that that is the reason I shun most religions, but I tend to be one of those people who likes to stay neutral and live and let live. Not only that, but I despise anyone or anything that tells me "it's my way or the high way." Just ask my parents. ;-). Anyway, here is it. I love it. I love it because it gives me hope and direction. Two things most human beings need to find their way in the world. Ok back to work!

"Can’t See the Forest for the Trees"
Bible passage: I Corinthians 13:12-13 (The Message)

"We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long beforethe weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then; see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowingGod just as God knows us.

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation:Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love."

Getting Old

"This is getting old" sort of sums up my week. The *company* I work for announced yet another major reorg. And once again my job seems to be safe for now, which in the current economy I am grateful for. But after 11 years, 8 of which have been been spent going through layoffs and reorgs it gets a little old after a while. But if anything it has taught me how to adjust and get creative.

The vet called about the cyst on Ben's elbow. Ben is my 13 year old black Labrador retriever who I adore. The good news is it's not cancer but the bad news is in order to remove the fast growing tumor they would need to do surgery and radiation (3x a week for 10 weeks) and there is no guarantee it wont' come back or that he would even survive the surgery. And then of course there are several complications not to mention the pain and discomfort of recovery after the operation. Oh and did I mention the cost? About $5000 for an operation that won't prolong his life or make him any better off than he is right now. The good news is that right now the tumor is relatively small and not causing him any pain. However, it will grow rapidly to the size of a football or bigger. At that point he will be in pain because the large mass will start to pull and stretch the muscle, etc. So the hubby and I agreed that we weren't going to put him through surgery. So we can only hope that the tumor doesn't grow as fast as they say it will. Because as soon as he is in pain, that is when we will have to say goodbye to our sweet Benny boy. Anything else would be selfish. I can't imagine him not being part of our family and I dread the pain it will cause my children and husband, not to mention his buddy Hogan (my 12 year old yellow lab). But we will cross that bridge when we get there. For now, I will enjoy him completely.

My grandmother is 82 years old and not doing well these days. Up until this point she has been as healthy as an ox. But a series of infections, a stroke, negative reactions to medicines, lack of appetite and macular degeneration that is robbing her of sight she is growing weaker regardless of the unyielding effort of my mother to keep her alive. Like my dog Ben, no one wants to see the ones they love suffer. So although I will miss my grandma when she is not walking the earth, I hope that she only continues to stay here with us as long as she is happy and healthy and not a minute more.

Old news, old dogs and old ladies. Sounds like a song.

Tag your it!

Oh cripes, I just realized that I was tagged and never tagged anyone back! My bad. Sorry Anna! Anyway, I was tagged for the first time by my dear friend Anna. I guess this makes me a Tag Virgin. So exciting!!!

Here are the rules:

• Link to the person who tagged you.
• Post the rules on your blog.
• Share six (6) non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. I think that you can share things that you love!
• Tag at least 3 people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.
• Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Six Things About Me:

1. I love to golf when I have the time, although I'm not very good.
2. I have grown to hate cooking. But I make a mean cocktail. In a past life I think I was a mixologist.
3. In my house, I'm known as the SBD (silent but deadly) Queen.
4. I love to organize stuff. I like buying gadgets, boxes and bins. I'm not afraid to use a label maker.
5. I am a social butterfly who loves a good party. The more the merrier!
6. My greatest challenge and reward is raising my two daughters and my greatest accomplishment is marrying my husband. 13 years last month! We shall call him, Saint Geoff. ;-)

The people that I would like to tag are Katrina, Gina M., and Heather. I hope that you all accept the challenge!

Hump Day and Home Alone

Up at 6:30am. Pretty quiet day at work. Not a hundred million emails like normal. Still several meetings. All fairly productive actually. Surprise! The economy bites and no one is sure of anything. Geoff picks the kids up from school and Claire and I head off to math tutor. It's her last session before her tutor goes out on maternity leave to have her third child. They work on telling time, money and multiplication. Claire is doing well with all. We leave Camryn at home alone. Sort of a new Independence she has. Still testing out the waters. I call her from the car to check in. She is fine. All her homework is done and she is watching the Disney Channel. Claire and I get home and head over to the neighbors for cocktails and dinner. Our usual. I love this neighborhood. Hump Day = Apple Martini. Duh. Anyway, Geoff knocks on the door at 8pm and finishes the left overs. Pasta, salad and bread. We all watch the end of the World Series. I can't get past the players spitting big lewgies everywhere, but I think the Phillie's win. Piggy back rides home. Quick Blog. Off to bed. Night Night.

Paws to Read

Fly out of bed at 5:58am for a 6am IA and Governance meeting. Scattered meetings throughout the day. Worked on redesigning a website and then fixed some validation issues on a web form I've been building. After testing it several times I actually got it to work.

I leave at 11:15am for a brow and bikini wax. Ouch. It never fails that she always leaves some residual dark green wax stuck to my surviving pubic hairs. Rubbing alcohol does the trick unless I'm unlucky enough to have the wax stick to my underwear and then look out! Anyway, I enjoy catching up with my cosmetologist. I have been getting facials, massages and waxing from her for about 16 years. She's good people.

Back to work and then call the bank to find out what the balance is on my student loans. I make a payment online and that's a done deal. No more school for now. I sort of miss it. But my life without it is just more serene. The kids need me around. And they are more important.

The husband picks up the kids from school and just about that time Grandma (my Mom) shows up to help with homework and take Camryn to Ballet. She reports that T-Bone (my Grandma) is not doing so well. She was diagnosed with macular degeneration and has recently lost almost all of her sight. But despite the setback she still manages to take all poker winnings from the old folks at the senior center.

My mom takes Camryn to dance at 4pm and the hubby is off to a sales appointment. I finish up working while Claire dances in the playroom. Oh crap. I almost forget to pick up Camryn from dance at 5pm. She doesn't wait long. Whew. That was close. The girls want ice cream of course but we haven't even had dinner yet. I negotiate dinner first then we'll drive by the dairy for frosty's. It's a deal. At home Claire and I build a fort and then I start cooking dinner. Some frozen bag thingy with chicken and pasta. Steamed carrots and toast. Not bad. But not great. It's food. Then off we go to get ice cream, birthday cards and poster boards for the school carnival this saturday. We get home and Geoff reminds us that we signed up for Paws to Read tonight and it starts in 20 minutes! Hurry, grab some books and out the door we go again.

Paws to Read is a program they do at the library where elementary school children read to dogs. It used to be only for children who were "at risk" or needed reading help. But now they offer it to everyone on a first come first serve basis. Claire got a golden retriever named Dave. He fell asleep while she was reading. But that was ok with her. Camryn got a chocolate lab that only had one eye. They loved it.

We all drive home and Camryn starts working on her poster for the carnival and I watch Desperate Housewives on Tivo. It's hard to watch TV in this house because there are so many interruptions. That's why I'm asking Santa Claus for a flat screen, DVD player and tivo box for my (our) bedroom. Oh yeah, and a lock on my door.

I wash my face and put some charcoal mask stuff between my eyebrows to suck up the oil in my skin. Because whenever I get my eyebrows waxed I breakout really bad and usually end up with a third eye. Not pretty. Now it's late and time for bed. Geoff walks by as I am typing this blog in my dark office because the light bulb burned out. The funny thing is I have my hair up, glasses on and the black charcoal mask I put between my eyebrows is now a gray glob of crust between my eyes. I'm too sexy for my....husband apparently, because I can hear him and the two dogs snoring in the other room. Sigh.

Grand Slam for Cam!

While Geoff and I were at the 49r game (with Carol and Chuck) watching them lose to the Eagles, Camryn was hitting a Grand Slam at her last softball game of the season (fall ball). One of the runs she hit in was her sister! Grandma was there to see the whole thing. Did I mention, they were playing the best team in the league and it was the last inning with 2 outs!!!!

After not doing what she considered her personal best at the softball tryouts last week, I think this is just the boost Camryn needed to prove to her what a great player she is and what she can do. Way to go Cam!

Back to work I go…And off to Disneyland for Camryn's 10th birthday on Wednesday. Yippy!

My head hurts

Up at 5am again.

Meetings scheduled all day. First one starts at 6am. Oh it's cancelled. Lovely. So I got up at 5am for nothing?

I went for a walk with my neighbor Leann at 9:30am (super hot & sweaty). I like her alot. It's so nice to be able to talk to someone who you can be totally honest with and who is honest back. We talk about how we feel crazy and just "not right" sometimes. Snapping at our kids and husbands for no apparent reason. And for some reason when other people admit they are totally fucked in the head too...it makes me feel better. Misery loves company or...if you feel like that and I respect and admire you then I must be ok too. Yeah that's it. Anyway, pretty basic work day.

Go pick up the kids at 2:35pm at school. Home for a quick snack and then off to the math tutor for Claire.

Camryn and I sit in the car in the hot sun outside the tutors house in Danville doing homework and figuring out how to work Claire's new Nintendo DS. And then here they come.

Claire has a headache and stomach ache and has been to the bathroom three times during the hour lesson. She complained her tummy hurt on Tuesday (2nd day of school) and then stayed home on Friday for the same reason. My diagnosis is that she is obsessed with getting sick (throwing up) and is so afraid of it that she makes herself sick. The funny thing is she never has this problem while watching TV, or having a play date or really anytime during the summer. I took her to the pediatrician on Friday because I wasn't sure how to handle her hysterical behavior or complete paranoia of being sick at school.

There are alot of details I'm leaving out here but this has been going on off and on since the end of last year. At this point I'm not sure what to do. We started out with the normal parent reaction..."Quit faking. Your not sick. Your going to school!" Then I actually thought something might be wrong with her physically so I took her to the doctor. Then recently I Googled some obsessive child behavior and thought she might be OCD. But after talking to the pediatrician and her teacher last week she doesn't seem to posses all of the OCD characteristics. Thank God. Anyway, it's obviously mental. Meaning she is stressing herself out about school work, or friends or whatever to the point that she is making herself sick. Whether the illness is in her mind or not I am totally incapable of fixing this problem. So I think I will call and make an appointment to have my 8 year old speak with a counselor. Oh boy.

Came home and finished homework. Claire read a book to me. Junie B. Geoff and I made dinner together while the girls watched the Disney Channel. We all ate together and then watched the Republican National Convention and listened to the speech of the first female Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin. Although I am an Obama supporter and will probably vote against her, I was really impressed with Mrs. Palin's speech. She seemed really spunky and feisty. Not afraid to ruffle feathers. I thought she was a great speaker and McCain himself could learn a thing or two from her. Anyway, I don't much trust politicians no matter what kind of panties they wear. But on the surface -- she seemed alright.

Time for bed. Working in San Ramon tomorrow. We'll see if Claire makes it through a school day without any issues.

Off to bed I go.

Final last words: Some day I will get paid to write.

Claire for President

Up at 5am.

Conference call at 6am.

Kids off to school by 7:45am.

Out the door to work in the San Ramon office because sometimes I just have to get out of this house. Really I do.

Forgot my power cable so my laptop dies about 11am. Sigh.

Head back home for a quick lunch and another meeting at 12pm.

Convince my client that he has to build his web site in another tool. I'm expecting to have to sell him on the idea which is sort of like convincing a child that spinach is good for them even though you both know it tastes like salty seaweed. But surprisingly he doesn't throw a fit and we end the call on a happy note. But I'm positive this is because he is from the UK and generally happy by nature and not because I'm an expert persuader.

Anyway, finish up some work. But you never get done. So you just divide up the tasks for another day, and another day, and another day. OK fine.

Carol and Chuck are coming over for dinner so the girls need to get their homework done before they arrive. Claire tells us that she is running for Class President of her 3rd Grade class. So we get to work brainstorming her campaign speech and slogan. We talk about the presidents "job" and why it's important. How they are sort of the leaders of the country and represent what the people need and want. She starts to think about what her class needs and wants and how she can help. This conversation is rather interesting and makes me think...well about a lot of stuff. But that's for another day.

Anyway we all come up with some pretty funny slogans but I think the winner was...No one compares to Claire when it comes to clean air and being fair! I'm not sure what kind of air quality they have in 3rd grade class rooms these days (other than the usual..."hey who farted?") but it rhymed with her name -- so there you have it.

Geoff made burgers, corn and baked potatoes. We drank a little vino and Claire opened her presents from Grammy and Chuck. She got a Nintendo DS game (similar to marijuana but not organic) and some really cute outfits (because we all know how into clothes the girl is).

Geoff read with Camryn before bed (Nancy Drew) and I laid in bed with Claire and talked about her day. She has a close friend whose father has cancer. She feels bad for her friend and hopes that she never gets it. Me too. And then we do the usual "How much do I love you?...More than all the pupils in all the eyeballs in all the people in the whole wide world....Wow. I must love you a lot." Night night.

I was going to read my book tonight, but I miss blogging. I haven't been doing it lately because I sort of feel like a fish in a tank. I really want my writing to be authentic but I haven't been in a great place lately. Life has been difficult. Not entertaining or funny. Quite sucky actually. So I sort of have to decide if blogging for me is entertainment or a communication outlet. At first it was just fun and hobby-like, but when it comes time to write about less than sunny times the tendency is to shut down because you don't want people to know something is wrong because A) you might make them feel bad or B) they will want to fix it.

So I will keep blogging but I probably won't broadcast it anymore. That way if you're really dieing to know what kind of crap I've gotten myself into lately you can visit my blog and read it for yourself. Otherwise, don't worry about me, I will be FINE (Funny, Interesting, Neurotic, and Environmentally-Safe).



Gotta get up at 5am for another 6am meeting. What is wrong with these people? Actually -- what's wrong with ME??? I'm the one getting up at the crack of dawn for conference call! Duh.



Good night. Sleep tight. And if the bed bugs bite. Bite the bastards back. ;-)

Believe

I have a Christmas card that I keep on my desk all year round. The front of the card has one adult size angel holding a string of letters that spell B-E-L-I-E-V-E and in front of her (I'm assuming its a HER because she has rosy cheeks and long eyelashes) is a smaller angel holding a single star. I don't know why but this card touched me. To me it means believe in yourself and your future. Believe that you can do anything. Believe in other people. Believe in truth. Believe in love.

I'm not sure if my kids look up to me or are just looking at me like what the heck are you doing? "Mom, are you going to do that [work] forever???" It doesn't much matter as long as I can keep looking at them day after day after day.

I BELIEVE.

Too bad the Giants couldn't Cache in

We went to the Giants game in San Francisco on Sunday with the Cunningham's (John, Deb, Jack and Megan). They lost the game but the best part was Geocaching before and after the game. I had heard about it before but never done it. It's very geeky but sooo fun! It's sort of like a scavanger hunt and the Amazing Race combined. You use a GPS device to find things that have been hidden in places all over the world. The GPS gives you the coordinates and hints about the objects in your area. So its something you can do anywhere you go. We found a couple in San Francisco and then one more in Pleasanton 2 blocks from our house!

The GPS device costs about $200 bucks so I'll be adding this to our Christmas list (hint hint) unless we can't wait. The thing I like about it is that it gets the whole family out of the house and you can explore things and places that you wouldn't normally see. For example, you can image what would happen if I asked Geoff and the girls "How would you like to go for a 5 mile hike today???" I imagine that would go over like a fart in church. However, if your off to find a treasure in the mountains that happens to be roughly 5 miles, well so be it. Anyway, I don't have any pictures unforunately but just imagine the Fuller Four with big huge smiles on our faces. :-)

Jonas Brothers Concert with Camryn

Well I took Camryn to her first concert at the ripe old age of 9 (almost 10). She had a blast! And other than the way too expensive food, screaming girls piercing my ear drums and waiting over an hour for the little buggers to come out on stage I had fun too. Although some of the band members were young enough to be my sons! All in all I accomplished my mission of "not embarrasing" her. Little does she know how REALLY cool I am.

1st Annual Cope Court Softball Game - June 2008

Adults vs. the Kids. Ages ranging from 5 to 65. And I'm pretty sure the kids beat us. Not just in score, but I bet none of them were sore, injured or limping the next day. It was a lot of fun. And one thing is for sure, we are very lucky to live in this neighborhood. They aren't just neighbors - they're family.

Groovy Baby

I guess I'm having what you would call a writers block. But not really. I just don't have any freakin spare time to sit at my computer (more than the 80 hours a week I already spend on this damn thing) and think up witty stuff to entertain you people. I wish I did -- but I don't. You know I'm kidding right? So here's the deal. I'm gonna post one picture everyday with a little, and I repeat little, blurb explaining it. That's all. And at some point when I come up for air again, I'll start blogging my butt off. But for now, that's all she wrote.

Well not really. Cause I haven't explained the Groovy Baby headline. Geoff and I went to a 40th birthday for Mike Friedel on Saturday and since he was born in the 60's - that was the theme. Check out the cool hippies. Peace Out.

Is it possible to give or do 110%?

I say yes. Geoff says no. And of course I'm right, because that's just how it works at our house. I'm right and he's wrong (at least 110% of the time ;-)

Ok, enough funny business. I haven't blogged for a while because I've busy studying for school, working, and of course playing hard (psst -- I live on Cope Court. Duh). But mainly the school thing has been kicking my butt. Each week I've had to write a paper including one team paper, read, research, etc etc. I think one week I studied a total of 20 hours. So I guess you could say there was a little learning curve for me. Creative writing is sooo much easier than writing academically. Citing sources and making sure your not plagerizing is serious business. But it was worth it because a few things have happened.

1) I stopped saying "this is hard" or "how am I going to do this?" or "this is impossible" because its not. It's totally possible and although it is challenging at times I keep telling myself that most things that are worth doing are (challenging).

2) And when the girls are complaining that I don't have time for them (guilt), I stopped saying "Mommy HAS to work" and "Mommy HAS to go to school" and thinking to myself "no body understands!" But the truth is I don't have to work. We could survive on Geoff's salary, we just wouldn't be able to do and have all of the things we enjoy. And I don't have to go to school. But I want to because I think that later down the road I'm going to need it. Plus it tells my kids with action that education is important. So I guess what I'm saying is I'm making choices.

3) No more guilt. The time I spend with my kids is good, quality time. They know I love them becuase I say it and show it. I'm a good mom and they are ok (more than ok).

4) I have any amazing support system. I am soooo lucky and so are Geoff and the girls. I started to blog about all of the people in our lives that give us their never ending support and love, but I got too choked up so I stopped. Maybe someday I'll put it all into words. For now I'll just thanks to you all. You know who you are.

5) And finally I realized last night that my hard work paid off because I got 100% on my paper on Team Diversity and 97% (darn that spell checker) on my Values and Mission paper. I had to hang the 100% paper on the frig last night with the magnet that says "Look what I did at School!" This week I really felt like I turned the corner. And I'm actually learning something. One of my goals for going back to school was self-confidence and self-respect. All I can say is that I already feel smarter. And for me being in class with other working adults has been an eye opener as well. We all compare ourselves to others and I usually tend to see how they are better than me (that's just how my brain works). But in this class I am seeing that I'm a very competent, intelligent person. I'm a good communicator, writer, organizer, problem solver/critical thinker, and master multi-tasker. And although I try not to get that "I'm better than you" thing going on in my head, I have seen first hand how determination, hard work and a positive attitude can make all the difference. And maybe next week I'll be overwhelmed again and down in the dumps but for now I'm just basking in the sun.

So I think when someone says "I gave 110%" what they are saying is I did more than was asked of me. I went beyond the expectations given me. And as Claire put it, "Dad, its like doing the extra credit on the test even if you don't have to."

Poor Geoff. He doesn't have a chance.

VaVa, I did it!

My favorite flower (besides the tulip) are hydrangeas. My VaVa (grandma in Portuguese) had a huge hydrangea plant in the front of her home on Alpha Street in Turlock. I'm pretty sure it was there long before I was. It was the most beautiful plant. And it lived in a perfect spot right next to the porch in the front of the house. For me it was like a big welcome home sign who's big green leaves and beautiful blue and pink flowers seemed to say "Everything is going to be alright."

My VaVa was quite the gardener (among other things: cooking, listening, kissing..). And her yard was always filled with Roses and many many other flowers I cannot name. She took care of them like they were her own children. Picking up each leaf one by one. I'm not sure if there were leaf blowers back then, but even if there were she probably wouldn't have used one. Preferring to take the quiet and slow approach.

I don't know if I like hydrangeas so much because they remind me of her, or if she reminds me of hydrangeas. But one thing I do know is I have never, and I mean NEVER, been able to grow them. I have tried at every house we've lived at. I've tried in pots and in shade, in part-sun, fertilizing and praying to no avail. Until now. Although I can't take all the credit because I didn't actually put them in the ground (thanks Fritz!), but I did choose the location and have been feeding and looking after them ever since. I think the other plants in the yard are a little jealous. But they just need to get over it, because VaVa's in the house! Yeah!

Talent Show

Today was the Talent Show at Alisal. It's always amazing to me when my kids come up to me and say "Mom, I'm going to be in the Talent Show!" Not because they aren't talented, but because when I was there age I would have never had the guts to stand up in front of a bunch of people and perform. Camryn did a dance routine with 3 other girls. They had been practicing for weeks at lunch and choreographed their own routine, edited the music, coordinated their outfits (although apparently there was a change of plans and we didn't get the memo because Camryn was the only one wearing a pink shirt. No big.) It was very cute and I was really proud of her for doing it. After it was over she said "I really messed up Mom." But I couldn't tell.

There were several kids that played musical instruments and one kid that even did a stand up comedy routine. He was really funny! He told jokes about homework and how his Mom had to walk to school in the snow, up hill...Some kids sung songs that probably shouldn't have. Which makes me wonder if their parents heard them practice before the show and didn't say anything. And will I be one of those parents who nod their head and say "That was great honey! Good job!" even when there's no denying they totally suck and I'd rather walk on a bed of nails rather than listen to that mess again! I mean on one hand you have to give them credit for just walking out on stage. Because while other kids are too cool for that kind of stuff these kids believe in themselves and love what they are doing so much that apparently they have lost all hearing in both ears. But then again isn't it the parents responsibility to say "I love you. But that was really bad. Maybe you should try piano." So far I haven't had to have this talk with my kids because for the most part they are completely adorable and extremely awesome at most things they try. I know what you’re thinking. I'm just saying that because they're my kids. Yeah? So? OK, so I'm probably just like every other parent that thinks their kids walk on water. But I think there has to be a balance between encouragement and honesty. I don't think we do anyone any favors by blowing sunshine up their butts. Ya know what I mean?

Anyway, Claire was supposed to do a group dance with some other kids too but decided against it at the last minute. She said she didn't want to let her friends down but she just didn't feel prepared. I can relate because I sometimes say yes to things that I don't really want to do and then when it comes time to actually do them...well I don't really feel like it. We talked about how it’s important to follow through, but equally important not to say yes when you mean "no thanks." Mom is still working on that one ;-).

Camryn went to her last girl scout meeting tonight. It was really hot so the leader decided to make it a swim/pizza meeting. Both of the girls are in troops with really nice girls (and Moms) but I had to break the news to them recently that we won't be continuing with girl scouts next year. Once again it’s hard to say No but I have to draw the line somewhere. Plus I'm not real keen on getting emails with step by step instructions on how to make finger sandwiches. I'm not kidding.

By the time we got home it was time for pj's and bed. However, ever since Geoff introduced the girls to the Rocky Balboa soundtrack and the Eye of the Tiger song, they've been obsessed. I thought it was bad enough my husband was a Rocky nut, but now I have two mini-me Rocky nuts. So every time I turn around Camryn is changing the song on our ipod to Eye of the Tiger. I finally got so fed up I just put it on her and Claire's ipods so she would leave mine alone. The funny thing is when we went in their rooms to kiss them goodnight they both had Eye of the Tiger playing in their ear phones. Dunt, dunt, dunt, dunt....Rising up...

Claire even quoted the movie as Geoff walked out the door. Something about "Dad, I want you to do something for me....." Yes Claire. "WIN!" I'm sure I will wake up tomorrow to "Yo Adrianne -- Get me some cereal!"

For now, that's all she wrote...

Thrice with Lice, That's Nice

So what can I say. The day started out fairly normal. Just your typical Fuller Family juggling act sort of day. Wake up at 6am. Check email. The husband is out of town. Mom is out of town. The kids are at Great Grandma's because I had school last night. The cleaning lady is coming today so I have to clean the house before she cleans the house! Speaking of that. The worst part of hiring a cleaning lady is picking up before she comes. So can't I just pay extra and have them do the pick up part too? I mean since when does "I don't do windows." mean "I don't do clutter." Honestly I think the clutter is the hard part. Once the clutter is gone, cleaning is easy. So the way I see it, I should be paying them to deClutter my house so I can see it well enough to clean it. Duh. Well once I figure out how to negotiate that in Espanol I'll let you know.

Anyway, I pick the kids up at GG's at 7:30am. Just in time to take them to school and go to Donuts for Dads with Claire's 2nd grade class at 8:15am. Although I wasn't her first choice, Geoff was at a golf tournament with Voo Voo in Turlock so it was me or nothing kiddo. I offered to dress up like Dad but apparently that would have been "embarrassing". So I get there early sipping my coffee and then finally go in and sit next to four East Indian gentlemen and another Mom who's husband had a "conference call" he couldn't get out of. She rolls her eyes.

The performance was cute. Sort of similar to Muffins for Moms but without the boo hooing. I attempted at video with my camera again, but this time its not my fault that a really tall kid with a fat head is standing right in front of Claire. No offense but Dude - Get out of the way! So look for a pair of glasses without a nose or mouth and that's Claire.

So by the time I get home and get back to work it's time for lunch. Leann and Caron are going to Mimi's for lunch and want to know if I can join them. I usually decline because I'm too "busy" at work but today I decide what the hell. After a bloody mary and soup/salad the phone rings. Alisal. The school. That's never good. It's the nurse. Debby. Camryn has lice. Nice. Fuck. Shit. Damn. Ok, I'll be right there. Caron knows everyone and everything. If you have a problem. She has an answer. Google aint got nothin on her. Gotta love that. Before I'm off the phone she has a number scribbled on a napkin of a Lice Treatment place in Castro Valley. Her friends kid had lice three times and never got rid of it. Then they went to this place and viola.

It's 3:30pm and Camryn and Claire and I all have lice and a young lady named RosaLinda is combing our hair until our eyes tear. Fuck. Shit. Damn. Two hours later we leave there with a dent in our wallet but lice free. Cool. We have to go back for two more treatments to make sure they are gone, but the worst is over. On the way to the lice treatment place I was explaining that sometimes there are bumps in the road and we just have to roll with it. So although we had to cancel the play date with Nicole today and miss her hip hop class we can still make the best of the situation.

On the way home I tell the girls I think we really need to stop for ice cream because that "sucked." They agree of course. Chocolate Cookie Dough and Cotton Candy. On the way home Leann summons me for a apple martini. Twist my arm. Change clothes and off we go. After some pizza and wine we are back at home. Kids crash out, I put more laundry in, vacuum our pillows, comb and treat our hair one more time. Tomorrow we are going to see Kungfoo Panda at the movies.

Gold Dust or Bust

This will be short and sweet because I've only had 5 hours sleep and it's been a hellish day at work. The day started out at the gym at 6:30am. 50 minutes of cardio. I have started bringing my homework (reading) to the gym and while I'm on the bike I read. Once I move over to the weird new-age elliptical machine (sort of like high-stepping in air) I have to put it down because its' all I can do to hang on and not fall off the damn thing. After that I went to Alisal to watch Camryn and the 4th graders perform a singing performance about the gold pioneers in California. It was really cute. Camryn had a singing part with a group of kids. I video taped the last part of it. And although its not the greatest video I'm really posting it here to see if it works. Remember this is all trial and error.

What Do I Want To Be When I Grow Up?

Good question. Well for starters I'm finding out I like this whole writing/blog thing. I think I want to be Carrie Bradshaw without the bowed legs when I grow up. I mean what a cool job (and clothes), to be able to write about girl stuff or just all the crap that goes on in your head. I don't know how entertaining that would be if I did it but you know what I mean. I would love to have my own advice column someday. Sort of the like The Fake Steve Jobs, but instead I could be The Fake Ann Landers, giving bad advice like "It's obvious he's really not into you, but... why don't you go out with him anyway you idiot!" or "Your 30 years old and still live at home? Get a job you loser!" or my new favorite "Suck It Up!" (to quote my friend Julie). But until I'm discovered, I will continue to focus on my day job of being a Business Analyst and my night/weekend job of being Mom, Wife & Student.

The class I'm currently taking (Gen 300) is focusing on Core Values, Mission, Vision, Goals, Objectives and Plans. These are all things most of us are quite familiar with. And I am definitley one of those people that is always trying to personally and professionally improve and grow. I like to think of myself as a life-long learner who is always thinking of ways to be better, do better, live better. But when I sit down to think about what motivates me or what my "calling" is? Sheesh! Who the heck knows? So check it out, I'm just gonna jot some crap down and see what happens. I know this is probably really boring for you. So humor me and ask yourself or someone you know these questions:

What drives and motivates you? What do you care about? (Core Values)
Shannon: loyalty, integrity, love for my family, friendship, security, financial well-being, health & fitness, my community.

What is your purpose? Who are you as a person? (Mission)
Shannon: To be a person of integrity and good character who is continually educating myself, to be a good mother, wife, daughter and friend who brings people together and makes things better, someone who is financially independent and in good physical shape.

What do you want to be when you grow up? (Vision)
Shannon: I have no freakin clue. I like to help people, I have a background in computers and I like web 2.0 work, I am a good communicator and like to collaborate and solve problems. There. Is that a profession?

What do you want to accomplish in the next 2-5 years? (Goals)
Shannon: Complete my Masters Degree and work in a profession I love and that is financially rewarding and well balanced wtih my family life. I don't think that's asking much?

What do you want to accomplish in teh next 1-2 years? (Objectives)
Shannon: complete my BS Degree with a GPA of 3.0 or higher.

How are you going to do it? Who is going to help you? (Plans)
Shannon: I will take classes at UOP until I accomplish my goals and ask advice from friends, family and academic counselors when necessary.

That was painful but good. Now I'm going to bed. Good night. ;-O

Sex in the City (or the Capital)

Our 6Th annual girls trip in old town Sacramento last weekend had all of the components of the PERFECT girls trip. There was... shopping (torturing Deb by forcing her to try on ugly dresses), me driving the wrong way through the valet and almost running over the has-been celebrity/comedian you have tickets to see later that night (see us and Danny Bonaduce left), Georgia the hilarious hotel clerk, free drink coupons, shots of tequila (too many I'm afraid), a comedian who apparently found a spot on Julie's shirt and was trying to help her out (see picture at right), dirty dancing in dangerous night clubs (apparently we were in a gang bar and didn't know it), bikers with white teeth, games of pool that never end, cigarettes (cough cough), answering the question "YES, we are ALL married." several hundred times, scary trips to Rite Aid to buy breast pumps, eat ice cream and get yelled at by drunk homeless people who like to cut in line, lots of yummy food (aka alcohol absorber), scaling locked bathroom doors to discover no dead bodies, the hunt for the perfect martini (which we found: Raspberry Lemon Drop at the Rio City Cafe), party favors (shhhh. thanks Leann!!!!), texting, emailing naked body parts to our husbands cell phones (we think), wrestling, having the hotel staff come tell us to "be quiet" at 1am, saving Julie from going straight to H-E-double two sticks because she's NOT NICE, calls home to our families because we miss them, deep and intimate dinner conversations, tears, laughter, hugs and of course THE movie that makes any girls weekend complete -- Sex in the City. The movie was hilarious, moving and just what the doctor ordered. I don't know how long I will be able to keep up with these crazy chicks, but I will tell you this....I will surely keep trying. They are my friends, my confidants -- my sisters. And I am truly blessed.

Thank you Cindy, Julie, Deb and Leann. See you all in rehab!

First night of school at UOP

What a day. Once again I got started early. But this time I went to the gym and had a great workout. 20 minutes of legs and 30 minutes of cardio. Lots of sweat. I was home by 7:15am and on a conference call by 7:30pm. The call was the last online class of a 6 part series called "Creating Visual Messages with PowerPoint" It was all about creating better slide presentations and I took it as part of my "careeer development" plan for work. This was a class offered at Nortel and my homework assignment was to do a before and after slide and then present it to the class online. The instructor and the class provides feedback. Lots of good ideas. And I think mine came out pretty good.

Claire met with her math tutor after school today and Heather said she is really improving and everything is starting to really click for her. The Making Math Real program that Heather teaches has really helped both of my girls get more confident and sharpen their math skills. It has been worth every penny ($60/hour) to see them go from being frustrated with math to thinking its fun.

After homework and a quick snack we were off to Claire's All Star scrimmage. She did a great job as catcher. I had never seen her play that position before -- she was terrific. But honestly when it comes to softball, she's pretty terrific at all of it. She had a great hit off the pitcher. Line drive right down the third base line. Then IT happened....One out, Claire's on 1st, another kid is on 2nd. Pop fly between 1st and 2nd and the 1st base coach (not Geoff, somebody's Grandfather who is apparently senile) sends the runner on 1st (Claire). Duh. The ball is caught. Go Back!!!!! Both girls freeze and then Claire gets out at 1st. Needless to say. She was upset. Partly because she doesn't like to make mistakes, but mostly because she HATES to get out. She started to cry in her mitt on the sidelines so Mom went over to talk to her. At first I tried to console her and tell her that its OK and it wasn't a big deal. It happens to everyone. But that just made her mad. So then I tried to get tough and said things like "Hey, there's no crying in softball!" and the gem of all gems, "Your a great granddaughter of a Marine. They don't cry." (Bob Jacobs quote). She looked up and rolled her eyes at me and we both tried not to laugh.

I had to leave the game a little early because tonight was my first night of school at the University of Phoenix. If all goes as planned I will finish my BS in Business Administration in Sept 2009 (5 months before my 40th Birthday). Wow. There is so much to tell about the four hours I spent in class tonight. But at this point it's 11pm and I'm tired. So in a nutshell my teacher is very nice and the class of 8 is a mixture of folks from different industries, races and ages. I will be attending class once a week for 4 hours and meeting with my learning team (Marco, Rene, and Ildi) once a week for approx 4 hours. Somehow I will have to work that all in around my family life and 50+ hr/week job. No problem. Piece - O - Cake.

Well I better get to bed now. I leave tomorrow for downtown Sacramento and my annual girls trip with my friends Julie, Debbie, Cindy and Leann. But first I need to workout, weigh in at weight watchers, pack, get gas and prepare my liver for hours and hours of drinking and peeing my pants.

Peace out. ;-)

Just Wednesday

Up at 5:30am.
Meetings all day.
Worked 10 hours.
Didn't make it to the gym. Bummer.
Ate lunch at my desk. Soup.
Grandma picked up kids.
Yelled at kids for fighting.
Fed kids dinner. Baths.
Made smores with girls outside on our fire pit.
Girls played softball in the house while I read.
Watched "So you think you can dance" with the girls.
Talked to hubby about All Star Game.
Kiss good night.
Set alarm for 5:30am.
I start school tomorrow. Oh boy. Scary.

Say hi to Buddy

After my last post I figured I'd better write something "light." So I had to share a picture of Buddy, my Dad and Fran's new dog. This is by far one of the cutest dogs I have seen (Sshh. Don't tell Ben and Hogan!).

And he's talented too! Earlier this week he sent Camryn and Claire an email with his picture attached. He is a Havanese breed. I just call him Hecka CUTE!!!

Be Real, Stay Real

Yes, I think I might even change the name of my blog. Maybe something like 'Keepin It Real'. Because for me being real and staying real is one of the hardest things to do. Really. Not that being real is hard. But being OK with being real is the hard part. Does that make sense?

We went to a BBQ over the weekend at some friends house and I was who I always am. Chatty and social and pretty much engaged in "deep" conversation with someone the whole entire time. That is of course, when I wasn't eating or drinking ;-). Sounds pretty normal right? But then I get what I call the morning after "communication shame" which basically means that I critic everything I said during the course of the party and get down on myself for hogging the conversation, or interrupting or not being a good listener or talking too much or whatever.

This doesn't happen after every social event but usually there is one moment or sentence that I will feel guilty or regretful about the next day. At this point your probably thinking, this chick needs therapy. Maybe, but guess what? This is me being real.

Anyway, it's now Tuesday and the BBQ was on Sunday and I found myself in my car thinking "I really wish I hadn't said that...they probably think I'm an idiot...I wish I could just be quiet like so in so." And then I got pissed. Because if I could do something different (talk less) or be someone different (quiet, introverted, etc) then I probably would. But obviously I don't have any control over that. And the reason I got pissed was because I spend so much time wishing I was different or feeling bad about every little thing I say, instead of embracing it. And for what? I finally asked myself the same question I ask my kids all the time...What's the worst thing that could happen? Um, my friends think I'm an ego maniac who never shuts up? I can think of worse things. Anyway, for me going through life not beating myself up over the smallest little thing is a real challenge. But one I am committed to working on becasue I see this same trait in my daughters and I don't what them to be hard on themselves like that.

Stuff like this is hard to write about. And as I get ready to press the "publish" button, of course I'm concerned about being judged or laughed at. But what the heck. ;-)

Blog by Email

If your getting this blog posting via email it's because I have added you (Geoff, Dad, Fran, Mom, Fritz, Carol and Chuck) to my "preferred" email distribution list. Really what that means is instead of subscribing to my blog (which none of you did. Not because you don't love me of course but probably because you couldn't find the button) I have subscribed for you.

Pretty arrogant of me huh? Actually it's sort of an easy way for the people that know me the best, to keep up with what's going on in my life. Warning the intention of this blog is not to shock or awe you, although you never know ;-) Ideally I'd like to use it to practicing writing and capture life's most memorable events. That said, I'm not Brittney Spears (thank God!) so it could get boring. But if you would rather not get my blog posts via email just let me know. It's OK. However, if you do please feel free to comment on anything and everything. It's pretty easy to use. Just click on the "Comment" link underneath the article. TTYL.

Pink Eye for Blue Eyes

Camryn stayed home from school today with Pink Eye. Which gave us the opportunity to try out our new medical benefits and pediatrician. Everyone was very nice and aside from spending 20 minutes at home trying to coerce Camryn into letting me put the drops in her eyes -- it was a piece of cake. That kid is really funny when it comes to getting worked up about stuff. Try explaining to a 9 year old that drops in her eyes are not a big deal. Really. I mean it's not like having your leg amputated? But to her that's exactly what it felt like. Until it was over, when she said "that was easy!" Which leads me to my favorite quote (for the time being until I hear a better one) from Nelson Mandela who said "It always seems impossible...until it's done." Amen.

One All-Star and One Rock-Star

Last night was Claire's softball team party at StrawHat Pizza. Coach Andy made speeches about each girl and when it came to Claire, he said she brought "hustle" to the Monkey team. He didn't officially announce it last night but we have been informed that Claire is one of two girls from her team that made the All-Stars. Geoff was also honored to find out he will be coaching her All Star team. A nice accomplishment for both.

Camryn didn't make the All Star team representing the Patriots this year. In my humble opinion and not because she's my kid, it wasn't because she wasn't good enough. She was one of the better players on the team, but the coach....oh never mind. But that's ok because she had a great time and will go onto play rec next year. She will help her Dad coach the Micro All Star Team, get ready for her Jazz n Taps recital in June and continue to be a bright light in the center of our family. For those reasons to name a few, she's a rock star!

USA Women's Softball Team bound for Beijing

The family and I went to the 2008 Exhibition game between Nor Cal Assault Collegiate All-Stars vs. USA Softball Women's National team at Sonoma State over the weekend. It was a long HOT day but worth every bit to see Monica Abbott pitch a perfect game and simply put - lightning fast. Camryn and Claire got their USA softballs signed by Monica Abbot, Caitlin Lowe, Vicky Galindo, Crystl Bustos (who hit 2 home runs one of which was a grand slam!), Jennie Finch, Jessica Mendoza to name a few. It was fun to watch excellence up close. I also think it gave Camryn and Claire a renewed appreciatiation for the sport they love. At one point Claire said "I'm going to keep this ball forever and ever!"

last game for the patriots

Tonight was Camryn's last game as a Patriot (PGSL Mini-Rec Division). Although I missed the first half of the game, Grandma and Grandpa said she pitched an awesome game and had two big hits and caught a pop fly. The girl has got it goin on! Geoff and Camryn went on a field trip to Sacramento with her class. And although it was really really hot, they had a good time. Claire also had a game tonight. Geoff video taped it so I could see it later. She pitched and had a huge hit that went over everyone's heads. I can't wait to watch it. I had orientation at UOP tonight. I go back to school to finish my BS on May 29th. I'm a little nervous but looking forward to the challenge. That's enough for my first post. I'm still not sure about this blogging stuff.