Is it possible to give or do 110%?

I say yes. Geoff says no. And of course I'm right, because that's just how it works at our house. I'm right and he's wrong (at least 110% of the time ;-)

Ok, enough funny business. I haven't blogged for a while because I've busy studying for school, working, and of course playing hard (psst -- I live on Cope Court. Duh). But mainly the school thing has been kicking my butt. Each week I've had to write a paper including one team paper, read, research, etc etc. I think one week I studied a total of 20 hours. So I guess you could say there was a little learning curve for me. Creative writing is sooo much easier than writing academically. Citing sources and making sure your not plagerizing is serious business. But it was worth it because a few things have happened.

1) I stopped saying "this is hard" or "how am I going to do this?" or "this is impossible" because its not. It's totally possible and although it is challenging at times I keep telling myself that most things that are worth doing are (challenging).

2) And when the girls are complaining that I don't have time for them (guilt), I stopped saying "Mommy HAS to work" and "Mommy HAS to go to school" and thinking to myself "no body understands!" But the truth is I don't have to work. We could survive on Geoff's salary, we just wouldn't be able to do and have all of the things we enjoy. And I don't have to go to school. But I want to because I think that later down the road I'm going to need it. Plus it tells my kids with action that education is important. So I guess what I'm saying is I'm making choices.

3) No more guilt. The time I spend with my kids is good, quality time. They know I love them becuase I say it and show it. I'm a good mom and they are ok (more than ok).

4) I have any amazing support system. I am soooo lucky and so are Geoff and the girls. I started to blog about all of the people in our lives that give us their never ending support and love, but I got too choked up so I stopped. Maybe someday I'll put it all into words. For now I'll just thanks to you all. You know who you are.

5) And finally I realized last night that my hard work paid off because I got 100% on my paper on Team Diversity and 97% (darn that spell checker) on my Values and Mission paper. I had to hang the 100% paper on the frig last night with the magnet that says "Look what I did at School!" This week I really felt like I turned the corner. And I'm actually learning something. One of my goals for going back to school was self-confidence and self-respect. All I can say is that I already feel smarter. And for me being in class with other working adults has been an eye opener as well. We all compare ourselves to others and I usually tend to see how they are better than me (that's just how my brain works). But in this class I am seeing that I'm a very competent, intelligent person. I'm a good communicator, writer, organizer, problem solver/critical thinker, and master multi-tasker. And although I try not to get that "I'm better than you" thing going on in my head, I have seen first hand how determination, hard work and a positive attitude can make all the difference. And maybe next week I'll be overwhelmed again and down in the dumps but for now I'm just basking in the sun.

So I think when someone says "I gave 110%" what they are saying is I did more than was asked of me. I went beyond the expectations given me. And as Claire put it, "Dad, its like doing the extra credit on the test even if you don't have to."

Poor Geoff. He doesn't have a chance.

VaVa, I did it!

My favorite flower (besides the tulip) are hydrangeas. My VaVa (grandma in Portuguese) had a huge hydrangea plant in the front of her home on Alpha Street in Turlock. I'm pretty sure it was there long before I was. It was the most beautiful plant. And it lived in a perfect spot right next to the porch in the front of the house. For me it was like a big welcome home sign who's big green leaves and beautiful blue and pink flowers seemed to say "Everything is going to be alright."

My VaVa was quite the gardener (among other things: cooking, listening, kissing..). And her yard was always filled with Roses and many many other flowers I cannot name. She took care of them like they were her own children. Picking up each leaf one by one. I'm not sure if there were leaf blowers back then, but even if there were she probably wouldn't have used one. Preferring to take the quiet and slow approach.

I don't know if I like hydrangeas so much because they remind me of her, or if she reminds me of hydrangeas. But one thing I do know is I have never, and I mean NEVER, been able to grow them. I have tried at every house we've lived at. I've tried in pots and in shade, in part-sun, fertilizing and praying to no avail. Until now. Although I can't take all the credit because I didn't actually put them in the ground (thanks Fritz!), but I did choose the location and have been feeding and looking after them ever since. I think the other plants in the yard are a little jealous. But they just need to get over it, because VaVa's in the house! Yeah!

Talent Show

Today was the Talent Show at Alisal. It's always amazing to me when my kids come up to me and say "Mom, I'm going to be in the Talent Show!" Not because they aren't talented, but because when I was there age I would have never had the guts to stand up in front of a bunch of people and perform. Camryn did a dance routine with 3 other girls. They had been practicing for weeks at lunch and choreographed their own routine, edited the music, coordinated their outfits (although apparently there was a change of plans and we didn't get the memo because Camryn was the only one wearing a pink shirt. No big.) It was very cute and I was really proud of her for doing it. After it was over she said "I really messed up Mom." But I couldn't tell.

There were several kids that played musical instruments and one kid that even did a stand up comedy routine. He was really funny! He told jokes about homework and how his Mom had to walk to school in the snow, up hill...Some kids sung songs that probably shouldn't have. Which makes me wonder if their parents heard them practice before the show and didn't say anything. And will I be one of those parents who nod their head and say "That was great honey! Good job!" even when there's no denying they totally suck and I'd rather walk on a bed of nails rather than listen to that mess again! I mean on one hand you have to give them credit for just walking out on stage. Because while other kids are too cool for that kind of stuff these kids believe in themselves and love what they are doing so much that apparently they have lost all hearing in both ears. But then again isn't it the parents responsibility to say "I love you. But that was really bad. Maybe you should try piano." So far I haven't had to have this talk with my kids because for the most part they are completely adorable and extremely awesome at most things they try. I know what you’re thinking. I'm just saying that because they're my kids. Yeah? So? OK, so I'm probably just like every other parent that thinks their kids walk on water. But I think there has to be a balance between encouragement and honesty. I don't think we do anyone any favors by blowing sunshine up their butts. Ya know what I mean?

Anyway, Claire was supposed to do a group dance with some other kids too but decided against it at the last minute. She said she didn't want to let her friends down but she just didn't feel prepared. I can relate because I sometimes say yes to things that I don't really want to do and then when it comes time to actually do them...well I don't really feel like it. We talked about how it’s important to follow through, but equally important not to say yes when you mean "no thanks." Mom is still working on that one ;-).

Camryn went to her last girl scout meeting tonight. It was really hot so the leader decided to make it a swim/pizza meeting. Both of the girls are in troops with really nice girls (and Moms) but I had to break the news to them recently that we won't be continuing with girl scouts next year. Once again it’s hard to say No but I have to draw the line somewhere. Plus I'm not real keen on getting emails with step by step instructions on how to make finger sandwiches. I'm not kidding.

By the time we got home it was time for pj's and bed. However, ever since Geoff introduced the girls to the Rocky Balboa soundtrack and the Eye of the Tiger song, they've been obsessed. I thought it was bad enough my husband was a Rocky nut, but now I have two mini-me Rocky nuts. So every time I turn around Camryn is changing the song on our ipod to Eye of the Tiger. I finally got so fed up I just put it on her and Claire's ipods so she would leave mine alone. The funny thing is when we went in their rooms to kiss them goodnight they both had Eye of the Tiger playing in their ear phones. Dunt, dunt, dunt, dunt....Rising up...

Claire even quoted the movie as Geoff walked out the door. Something about "Dad, I want you to do something for me....." Yes Claire. "WIN!" I'm sure I will wake up tomorrow to "Yo Adrianne -- Get me some cereal!"

For now, that's all she wrote...

Thrice with Lice, That's Nice

So what can I say. The day started out fairly normal. Just your typical Fuller Family juggling act sort of day. Wake up at 6am. Check email. The husband is out of town. Mom is out of town. The kids are at Great Grandma's because I had school last night. The cleaning lady is coming today so I have to clean the house before she cleans the house! Speaking of that. The worst part of hiring a cleaning lady is picking up before she comes. So can't I just pay extra and have them do the pick up part too? I mean since when does "I don't do windows." mean "I don't do clutter." Honestly I think the clutter is the hard part. Once the clutter is gone, cleaning is easy. So the way I see it, I should be paying them to deClutter my house so I can see it well enough to clean it. Duh. Well once I figure out how to negotiate that in Espanol I'll let you know.

Anyway, I pick the kids up at GG's at 7:30am. Just in time to take them to school and go to Donuts for Dads with Claire's 2nd grade class at 8:15am. Although I wasn't her first choice, Geoff was at a golf tournament with Voo Voo in Turlock so it was me or nothing kiddo. I offered to dress up like Dad but apparently that would have been "embarrassing". So I get there early sipping my coffee and then finally go in and sit next to four East Indian gentlemen and another Mom who's husband had a "conference call" he couldn't get out of. She rolls her eyes.

The performance was cute. Sort of similar to Muffins for Moms but without the boo hooing. I attempted at video with my camera again, but this time its not my fault that a really tall kid with a fat head is standing right in front of Claire. No offense but Dude - Get out of the way! So look for a pair of glasses without a nose or mouth and that's Claire.

So by the time I get home and get back to work it's time for lunch. Leann and Caron are going to Mimi's for lunch and want to know if I can join them. I usually decline because I'm too "busy" at work but today I decide what the hell. After a bloody mary and soup/salad the phone rings. Alisal. The school. That's never good. It's the nurse. Debby. Camryn has lice. Nice. Fuck. Shit. Damn. Ok, I'll be right there. Caron knows everyone and everything. If you have a problem. She has an answer. Google aint got nothin on her. Gotta love that. Before I'm off the phone she has a number scribbled on a napkin of a Lice Treatment place in Castro Valley. Her friends kid had lice three times and never got rid of it. Then they went to this place and viola.

It's 3:30pm and Camryn and Claire and I all have lice and a young lady named RosaLinda is combing our hair until our eyes tear. Fuck. Shit. Damn. Two hours later we leave there with a dent in our wallet but lice free. Cool. We have to go back for two more treatments to make sure they are gone, but the worst is over. On the way to the lice treatment place I was explaining that sometimes there are bumps in the road and we just have to roll with it. So although we had to cancel the play date with Nicole today and miss her hip hop class we can still make the best of the situation.

On the way home I tell the girls I think we really need to stop for ice cream because that "sucked." They agree of course. Chocolate Cookie Dough and Cotton Candy. On the way home Leann summons me for a apple martini. Twist my arm. Change clothes and off we go. After some pizza and wine we are back at home. Kids crash out, I put more laundry in, vacuum our pillows, comb and treat our hair one more time. Tomorrow we are going to see Kungfoo Panda at the movies.

Gold Dust or Bust

This will be short and sweet because I've only had 5 hours sleep and it's been a hellish day at work. The day started out at the gym at 6:30am. 50 minutes of cardio. I have started bringing my homework (reading) to the gym and while I'm on the bike I read. Once I move over to the weird new-age elliptical machine (sort of like high-stepping in air) I have to put it down because its' all I can do to hang on and not fall off the damn thing. After that I went to Alisal to watch Camryn and the 4th graders perform a singing performance about the gold pioneers in California. It was really cute. Camryn had a singing part with a group of kids. I video taped the last part of it. And although its not the greatest video I'm really posting it here to see if it works. Remember this is all trial and error.

What Do I Want To Be When I Grow Up?

Good question. Well for starters I'm finding out I like this whole writing/blog thing. I think I want to be Carrie Bradshaw without the bowed legs when I grow up. I mean what a cool job (and clothes), to be able to write about girl stuff or just all the crap that goes on in your head. I don't know how entertaining that would be if I did it but you know what I mean. I would love to have my own advice column someday. Sort of the like The Fake Steve Jobs, but instead I could be The Fake Ann Landers, giving bad advice like "It's obvious he's really not into you, but... why don't you go out with him anyway you idiot!" or "Your 30 years old and still live at home? Get a job you loser!" or my new favorite "Suck It Up!" (to quote my friend Julie). But until I'm discovered, I will continue to focus on my day job of being a Business Analyst and my night/weekend job of being Mom, Wife & Student.

The class I'm currently taking (Gen 300) is focusing on Core Values, Mission, Vision, Goals, Objectives and Plans. These are all things most of us are quite familiar with. And I am definitley one of those people that is always trying to personally and professionally improve and grow. I like to think of myself as a life-long learner who is always thinking of ways to be better, do better, live better. But when I sit down to think about what motivates me or what my "calling" is? Sheesh! Who the heck knows? So check it out, I'm just gonna jot some crap down and see what happens. I know this is probably really boring for you. So humor me and ask yourself or someone you know these questions:

What drives and motivates you? What do you care about? (Core Values)
Shannon: loyalty, integrity, love for my family, friendship, security, financial well-being, health & fitness, my community.

What is your purpose? Who are you as a person? (Mission)
Shannon: To be a person of integrity and good character who is continually educating myself, to be a good mother, wife, daughter and friend who brings people together and makes things better, someone who is financially independent and in good physical shape.

What do you want to be when you grow up? (Vision)
Shannon: I have no freakin clue. I like to help people, I have a background in computers and I like web 2.0 work, I am a good communicator and like to collaborate and solve problems. There. Is that a profession?

What do you want to accomplish in the next 2-5 years? (Goals)
Shannon: Complete my Masters Degree and work in a profession I love and that is financially rewarding and well balanced wtih my family life. I don't think that's asking much?

What do you want to accomplish in teh next 1-2 years? (Objectives)
Shannon: complete my BS Degree with a GPA of 3.0 or higher.

How are you going to do it? Who is going to help you? (Plans)
Shannon: I will take classes at UOP until I accomplish my goals and ask advice from friends, family and academic counselors when necessary.

That was painful but good. Now I'm going to bed. Good night. ;-O

Sex in the City (or the Capital)

Our 6Th annual girls trip in old town Sacramento last weekend had all of the components of the PERFECT girls trip. There was... shopping (torturing Deb by forcing her to try on ugly dresses), me driving the wrong way through the valet and almost running over the has-been celebrity/comedian you have tickets to see later that night (see us and Danny Bonaduce left), Georgia the hilarious hotel clerk, free drink coupons, shots of tequila (too many I'm afraid), a comedian who apparently found a spot on Julie's shirt and was trying to help her out (see picture at right), dirty dancing in dangerous night clubs (apparently we were in a gang bar and didn't know it), bikers with white teeth, games of pool that never end, cigarettes (cough cough), answering the question "YES, we are ALL married." several hundred times, scary trips to Rite Aid to buy breast pumps, eat ice cream and get yelled at by drunk homeless people who like to cut in line, lots of yummy food (aka alcohol absorber), scaling locked bathroom doors to discover no dead bodies, the hunt for the perfect martini (which we found: Raspberry Lemon Drop at the Rio City Cafe), party favors (shhhh. thanks Leann!!!!), texting, emailing naked body parts to our husbands cell phones (we think), wrestling, having the hotel staff come tell us to "be quiet" at 1am, saving Julie from going straight to H-E-double two sticks because she's NOT NICE, calls home to our families because we miss them, deep and intimate dinner conversations, tears, laughter, hugs and of course THE movie that makes any girls weekend complete -- Sex in the City. The movie was hilarious, moving and just what the doctor ordered. I don't know how long I will be able to keep up with these crazy chicks, but I will tell you this....I will surely keep trying. They are my friends, my confidants -- my sisters. And I am truly blessed.

Thank you Cindy, Julie, Deb and Leann. See you all in rehab!